Sistas, Everything is But for a Season

Does summer linger on for a year?  Of course not!  The days may fry like bacon but gradually it gets cooler, the days get shorter, and the leaves fall off of trees.

Does the winter wonderland linger until July?  Of course not!  Can the weather get unseasonably cold?  YES!  Can the winter blast hit one more time in mid spring?  YES!  But we won’t have snow falling in July.

The season of a friendship; a chance encounter with someone who befriends you for a time.  I think of an acquaintance who encouraged me to be myself and write from the heart.  I looked forward to more conversations; more inspiration, but they went their way.  I realized the season had come to an end, and that person was positioned in my life for the season where I was overwhelmed and doubting my talents.

And finally,

When the season is over,  don’t look back, don’t reach back,                           don’t try to repeat the season, or you may get a nightmare.       Keep looking forward and look up, your redemption draweth nigh.

Love and kisses,



RX for a Healthy Love Life

Good Lord’s day morning to all of you.  Truly, it is great to be alive.  If I sound a bit more exuberant, it is because of changes I have made to my existence, if just for a few days.  For one, I AM ON VACATION!  Yeah!  I left the northeast for a 5 day hiatus in Colorado Springs.  I know I’ve been stressing over details in my professional life, but I had to take a break and fly away, literally.  Ran the treadmill, slept 9 hours, ate leisurely.  If your physical and mental health is in order, so will be your love life.  Healthy women attract healthy men.  If the mind flow is positive, even if a negative vibe comes in, it will only last a minute because, as the saying goes, misery loves company, and joy will drive out the negativity.  To all of you ladies out there who may have spent your summer without a beau;  love your Creator, who will show you how to love yourself, and you will have the wisdom and strength to attract real love!

Love and kisses,

Timing is Everything

Timing is Everything To be sitting on my deck, penning my thoughts, hearing the music of the cicada, LIFE IS GOOD! The sun climbs the solar hill, with the mixture of shade and sunlight peeking through my oak tree giving me the essence of shade and sunlight that I need right now. You see, there is a time to do, and a time just to stop, think and listen. Right now in the background is a recording of R.C. Sproull’s message, Renewing Your Mind. One of the signs of a renewed mind is, knowing your time flow. What is your time flow? For me, early to late morning is the best time to generate ideas. The stillness of the late evening is another time. Take time out from the busyness of life to just listen! Listen to nature! The sound of the chirping sparrow in the near distance reminds me of Jesus’s words in Matthew 6:26- “Behold the fowls of the air; for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they? This verse is more than enough to let me know will be OK. And I knew I would be OK when I took the time to be still and listen!


Again, here is the quintessential battle of the sexes. He hears what only he wants to hear. She only wants to hear that he read, and liked her book!

My Life As An Aspiring Software Engineer

“Did you read the book I lent you?” she asked.

He looked up from the menu, smiling. “I’m about half-way through,” he answered.

“Do you like it so far?”

“It’s very interesting.”

“What do you think of his arguments?”

“Well, to be honest, they’re a little bit hard to grasp, but they’re very interesting.” He smiled again. “What do you want to eat?”

The waiter looked at her in anticipation.

“I’m not familiar with German food. Do you think Aquinas’ arguments are sound?”

“It’s hard to say. Like I said, his arguments are a little bit difficult to wrap your head around. I guess I’m just not familiar with Scholasticism. You might want to try their schnitzels. They’re basically pork cutlets with sauces on top,” he said.

“Alright. I’ll have the Bolognese schnitzel, please,” she said to the waiter. The waiter nodded.

“I’ll have the Jäger schnitzel,” he said. The…

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Wow!  Just finished passing through the park, hearing the sounds of children laughing, running; chasing each other around the pool; some learning to swim;  others more advanced than I may ever be.  (Sigh)  Oh!  The simple pleasures of life.  For the young ones, the biggest pleasure is the beach or the pool in the summer time.  For us oldsters, making some extra money to enjoy a well deserved vacation.

Vacation.  Just what does that mean to you?  For me, it’s about freedom from a time clock and having to meet unwelcome but necessary demands.  If there is one word in the whole dictionary that makes us universally smile it’s that word, VACATION.  It’s never long enough.  You never get to do everything you planned for as long as you planned, BUT, it’s time you worked and studied hard for.

Vacation time is a time to do your thing in your own way but, just don’t blow off your values.  Hold on!  Just listen.  I’m not trying to short circuit your fun quotient.  Just keep using wisdom.  (If it means prophylactics, it may be a compromise but, better than becoming a letter statistic:  HIV, HPV, etc.)

Enjoy yourself, dear friend, with activities that you won’t regret looking back on years later.  Funny thing, the physical ends, but the memories stay forever.



The Butterfly Effect

It is said that decisions build on top of one another until they create your destiny.  Think, “butterfly effect.”  About 50 years ago, Edward Lorenz, a scientist, posited that the butterfly could flap its wings and set molecules of air in motion that could eventually create a hurricane on the other side of the world.   It was initially laughed at by the New York Academy of Science as ridiculous.  Years later, physics professors proved this theory was accurate and viable.

What are some examples of the butterfly effect when you want to escape or prevent devastation caused by unhealthy relationships?  For starters, you can delete phone numbers.  Don’t look at them one more time lest you remember them.                                                                                                                                          Decline the call when you recognize the number.                                                                 Find some new activities; develop new skill sets.  Soon, you’ll realize that the recurring thoughts are gone!  It may be a week, a month, or a new season already and you haven’t thought about or even mentioned him.   You are being transformed, like the caterpillar, into the butterfly you were meant to be.                  Congratulate yourself!

“If any man, (or woman) be in Christ they are a new creature.  Old things are passed away and behold, all things are become new.”  (II Cor. 5:17)



Knowing When Your Chocolate is the Wrong Flava and Move On

Good evening friends and fans:

The chocolateism of the day is:  know when your chocolate is the wrong flava and move on.  As I’m sitting here nursing my fifth cup of hot chocolate, trying to ease the pain of my broken wrist, all of this physical discomfort still cannot compare to the pain of a broken heart.  Even as March is Women’s History month, women at home in America can be oppressed in matters of the heart, and soul tie themselves into bondage.  Never mind Fifty Shades of Grey.  Consider the dilemma of this college co-ed:  “Professor Bahna’s class is really a killer,” Kim thought.  There’s so much politics involved in Urban Planning, it’s amazing anything gets done. ”  At that thought she smiled at Eric’s pontification about the masses being held down by the ruling one percent.  “That’s my boo, Kim purred to herself, always  fighting for a cause.  (Sighing)   “I sure wish he would spend more time with me insead of always trying to save the masses.  Oh,  but when he holds me and kisses me, it just feels as if everything will be allright.”  Just then, her phone vibrated and she automatically picked up.  “Hey boo,” came Eric’s tenor voice over the phone.  Whatcha doin’ this Saturday?  (Kim’s heart skipped a beat and she brightened at the thought of them being together, one on one.

“The Sole-A-Dad Trio just finished cutting their CD, “The Acts of Man.”  Just want to know if my boo wants to come and show some love and support__(Kim felt some sinking disappointment at the thought of being one of many in a crowd, and after nearly two weeks of Eric being busy with his pet projects, she was hoping for something like a dinner date but alas, that wasn’t to be.)

“Kim!”  Eric asked, somewhat sharply.  “You with me or what?  I just asked you if you want to come on and show some support at Clayton Hall this Saturday?”  (Not wanting to share her feelings as the timing would be wrong, Kim forced some hppiness in her voice and brightly said, “sure Eric, I’ll be there for you!  What time is it?)

(To be continued next week.  Question for the night, on a scale of 1-5, with 1 being awful and 5 being excellent, how would you rate Kim and Eric’s relationship?)  Above excerpt taken from:  A Fine Piece of Chocolate:  Righteous Sistas Crossing Over to the Wild Side ISBN 978-1-4497-9109-4, Westbow Press, May 2013)

How to Quiet Your Soul

On my way into New York, viewing grassy marshes and ice covered rivers, I found myself thinking of what it would be like to have all of my debt issues resolved and be able to travel again.  Just then the thought came, “take a mini vacation.”  If I can’t take that two-week cruise to Lisbon, stopping at different ports of call, nothing can stop me from taking a mini vacation as I sit on the NJ transit, in a window seat, traveling to New York.  You see, all limitations stop and end with your mind.

Imagine traveling cross-country, horseback riding, enjoying the Grand Ol’ Opry, climbing Mount Rushmore.  Just using my imagination is a great way of getting through the winter doldrums, which I believe has affected all of us.   Think like a kid!  As a substitute teacher, one of the things I find so intriguing and downright funny are the pictures and titles of the books at the elementary age.  Imagine a red puppy that turns into a gigantic red dog bigger than a house.  Imagine an engine that talks and encourages itself saying, “I think I can”, “I think I can.”  See, as children, we naturally used our imaginations to comfort ourselves and take us to places that did not exist.  We forget that as we grow older.  Life in this world is getting more stressful and distressful.  Learn to quiet your soul, and this will give you peace.


Dear Church, It’s OK to be Single

We singles are actually in the majority, whether in a relationship or not. By the way, having optimal mental health helps you to enjoy your day.

Matt Peterson


Welp, it’s Valentine’s Day, and for the 23rd consecutive year, I’m single.

I’m gonna be 23 this August and I’ve never so much as gone on a date. The last time a girl even hinted that she liked me was in 1st grade. I struggled all throughout middle school, high school, and even some of college with insecurities and thinking that I was undateable. It wasn’t until late in my sophomore year of college that I finally began giving those insecurities to God and quit worrying about what everyone around me thought, because there was a good chance that none of them cared, anyway.

While I was going through all of that, I witnessed friends and close family members get into (and sometimes out of) relationships almost weekly (or at least it felt like that). Looking around at my friends, it felt like I was the only single…

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